A year ago this week we were meeting a young couple from Plainfield, Indiana, a few hours south of us, to become a possible match. After searching through almost sixteen pages of prospective parent profiles, they found us!
The call came from Kim at our IAC branch in Indianapolis, asking if we would would give D and P a call. We were ecstatic. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous making the call. I should mention, that, at this point, we had been active for 10 months, and this was the first time we would be speaking live with a pregnant woman considering adoption.
I dialed D and P’s number and a male voice answered. I asked to speak to D, and after an awkward moment or two, we began talking like old friends. By the end of the conversation, we decided that we should meet.
Our meeting, at a Mexican restaurant near their home, went exceptionally well. We asked each other a plethora of questions and had a really great time. We all agreed that we had great chemistry and that we wanted to match.
Our match meeting was held at the IAC office in Indianapolis a couple of weeks later. We got to know one another better and fleshed out the expectations of how we all hoped our adoption would look. We agreed on most everything that we talked about in our “Match Meeting” that lasted five hours.
We continued to talk on the phone and via email. Our relationship was progressing well. One Sunday we went to visit with them, have lunch, and do some shopping for the baby together. Something seemed off, but I couldn’t place it just yet. We were excited that she would be having an ultrasound that Wednesday and would be finding out the sex of the baby. The plan was that D’s mom would text us a picture of the ultrasound so that we could share in the excitement.
The time passed when we should have received the text, and we had not heard anything. I emailed D and my husband called the doctor’s office to see if they had arrived for the appointment. I finally heard from D a few hours later, and P had decided that since it was a boy, that they should parent. He didn’t want his son to have anyone else’s last name and he felt that his deceased grandfather would be very upset with him if his son wasn’t carryng on the family name.
We were bummed. Our dreams were to become a reality in less than a month. But in times like these we always focus on the positive. We had had so many adoption experiences because of D and P that we had never experienced before. We were certainly glad they changed their minds before delivery. And, they had every right to decide to parent. One certainity with adoption is that NOTHING is ever certain until it is certain.
D was so apologetic saying she had never felt so horrible in her entire life. She offered to send me copies of the ultrasound and asked if we still would like to be a part of the child’s life. We declined and wished them well.
In the year since, God has presented so many examples of why that match would not have worked for us. This we know for sure: Good things come to those who wait and what is meant to be shall be.
As we all know, God always has a plan. And even though we were almost there, he knows best. And, I know that best is going to be more awesome than we have ever dreamed and well worth the wait.